#InHerWords: Hello from the Bumpy Side!

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I have been on this side for the last 40 weeks. Yep, full term and still going, but, oh, how adventurous this bumpy road has been.

As the cliché goes: “ It’s about the journey and not the destination.” In this case that so doesn’t apply. When pregnant they both go hand in hand. It’s the good, bad and funny experiences that I discovered through these nine months and the euphoria of that incredible joy I feel as times comes close to me reaching that destination.

As a first time new age Internet savvy Mommy-To-Be, I downloaded all the preggo apps ITunes had to offer. I found What to Expect, Sprout, The Bump, and Ovia to be helpful. I ordered preggo books like What to Expect When You’re Expecting and anything by Gina Ford, and I calculated my EDD (estimated a date of delivery). I wanted to be a step ahead of everything; know what’s going to happen before it does; understand how I’m going to feel; answer my questions before my gynecologist would. A smart-ass MTB, basically. 😉

Whenever I hit a wall or was confused, my mum was my best friend. And, trust me there’s no app or book beats a person who is truly a BFF4Life. They say your pregnancy mirrors your mother’s. If she had stretch marks, you probably will too; if she had strange cravings, you might have the same ones; if she overshot her due date, you will too.

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So, my advice is: when in doubt ask mom, that usually applies to most things in life but in this case it’s bang on the money. She is the one person who will know what you are experiencing and will empathise with you when needed and encourage you when you are down. After all, her baby is having a baby.

 

T 1 minus none:

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My 1st trimester was a breeze!!

Morning Sickness: none

Mood Swings: none

Nausea: none

Cravings: none

Flatulence: none

Bloating: none

Stretch marks: none

Am I preggers or my body is fooling me??

The pros were endless and hardly any cons. For an insomniac I would sleep like a baby and what a feeling it was. My skin had a spectacular new shine no facial ever gave me, hair fall? What hair fall ?? And the boobies!! Take it from someone who not blessed in that department: “Winner Winner Chicken Dinner.“

The husband has never been happier, and sex drive was in top gear. Never felt sexier about myself than now and Life in the sack was one helluva ride! (pun intended) I was like, hell yeah this is going to be easy, I’m so going to nail it!

 

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T2: the return of the boobies!

 

 

My 2nd trimester can be summed up as ‘minor changes and the honeymoon continues!!

Morning Sickness: none

Nausea: none

Cravings: chocolates!!

Mood Swings: only when I didn’t get Chocolate

Flatulence: none

Bloating: just at the right places (ahem, ahem)

Stretch marks: none

My doctor said this is the Honeymoon phase of your pregnancy, and so Hermit and I planned ours! It was Babymoon time. Off to Thailand, we went.

 

 

Baby shopping was the best part; those oh, so cute onesies and booties. I pampered myself with retail therapy and much-needed massage treatments. I loved visiting my favorite restaurants and stuffing my face with Thai deliciousness.

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I had no qualms about doing what I wanted nor did I try to resist my cravings based on the so much advice given to pregnant women. I went swimming in the ocean in my brand new slightly larger sized bikinis, took ample of preggo vacation pictures, I also went on island snorkeling day trips (was the only pregnant lady on the boat and loved the attention). As long as my body and my doc let me do it I didn’t deprive myself of anything. Being active was my motto.

 

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Friends and family would tell me to slow down and calm down, I know they speak out of concern, but believe me the secret to this is just to listen to your body. If your body says hey I need to chill now, relax, and take a nap. If it’s up and about, go for a walk or swim or do some yoga, as your heart pleases, after all, you are just pregnant not physically challenged.

Post holiday I was welcomed with a killer baby shower thrown by my closest and dearest buddies. The pampering continued with gifts and merriment.

 

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A week later my family hosted a beautiful Godh Bharai with a traditional ceremony. There’s an unimaginable joy surrounding pregnancy, and I reeled it all in.

 

The godhbharai of our favourite pyjama.. @shveshve we love you and can't wait to see the little monster 😘😘😘😘

A photo posted by Facebook: @pyjamapeoples (@pyjamapeople) on

 

T 3 – like the movie, there was some new villains!

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All new cons!

Cravings: Still chocolates, but also anything sweet. I mean anything with a hint of sugar would do.

Mood Swings: Exhaustion, tired and bored.

Acidity: At its peak. I was like a cow and tasted everything I ate again like cud.

Bloating: Chubby hands and baby elephant feet.

Stretch marks: Hello, tiger stripes!!

Sleep: Welcome back, insomnia.

First signs of the unpleasant side of pregnancy began with my feet swelling.

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And, insomnia set back in. I was used to the sleep deprivation. But, no more cute shoes and relying only on my trusty pair of Havaianas was a bummer

All this while I was so proud of not buying a single maternity outfit and only wearing my fresh and stylish anti-fit clothes. My personal style always did reflect that genre of dressing: Boho chic and anti-fit. Brands like Doodalage, Chola by Sohaya, Whim, Huemn were my closet staples and perfect for any MTB (for those who don’t know: that’s mommy to be.)

 

Stepping to it in her @chola_the_label like the #badass #babybumper she is. Unanimously our favourite pyjama @shveshve 😍💃🏽

A video posted by Facebook: @pyjamapeoples (@pyjamapeople) on

 

 

 

But now things have changed and of course, they would, what was I expecting. Well hellooooooh, there’s a lil human I’m growing inside of me and its getting bigger!! My Victoria’s Secret and M&S size 6’s turned to size 12’s, Brazilian bikini style transformed into midis for full coverage. As much as I hated it, MTB needed more room down there, and nothing felt comfier than good ole granny undies!

My perky full twins started to get way heavier than I would like and were heading south. Despite all the cocoa butter and bio-oils, the first signs of silvery white streaks began to appear. Life in the sack and the incredible sex drive was now in reverse gear. A good nights sleep was impossible as lying on my back would trigger an acid reflux and only about 35 pillows propped up under me would make me comfortable but then the frequent bathroom visits would keep me up.

I knew that “winter is coming “ and I’m no Khaleesi!!

The doc warned me as this trimester is considered the sudden growth spurt one. Everything grew, literally: appetite, weight, breasts, belly, hands n feet you name it, and it grew.

 

 

Aches and pains, carpal tunnel all happened, my lovely pregnancy glow was dimming and sometimes depression would sink in.

Am I ever going to be myself again? Will my body never bounce back? Is my life going to change so drastically? Would I have to make new friends and my social life will end? Will I ever be able to wear a bikini and go to the beach??

 

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These worries sound silly now, but they are legit. It’s entirely reasonable to have them. I never considered myself to be a woman who all she wanted was to get married and have babies. I was never that type, in fact quite the opposite. I enjoy living on my own, doing what I want when I want. I’d rather have a house full of dogs than a nurse or babysit a baby. That’s me!!

Post marriage, I knew the next step I wanted to take was to have a child, but I wasn’t in any hurry. My husband Hermit was very supportive. He knew this was a process that my body would have to go through on my own. I found his patience with my gradual pace towards mentally preparing myself very endearing.

 

All I can think about 🍫 #cravings #chocolate #preggoproblems #stopthecravings #pregnantissues #thirdtrimester #anythingchocolate

A photo posted by ⓢⓗⓥⓔⓣⓐ ⓢⓐⓛⓥⓔ (@shveshve) on

 

Here I am, at this juncture in my life waitng the beginning of the end of these 40 weeks.

 

 

I’m powering through my last few days with whatever little strength I’ve got left. Excited about the change, I’ve worked on turning my negatives into positives. Before I knew it, my engines were roaring again like Khalessi’s dragons perched on her lovely shoulders (yes, I watched a lot of GoT during this time.) I may not be the Mother of Dragons, but I’m surely going to give birth like a rock star. I’ve decided to have a Home Water Birth without any epidurals or drugs.

I pray that I don’t have to go through this delivery surrounded by masked doctors and nurses looking down at me lying on table legs propped high under a large fluorescent light, being poked with needles and pumped with painkillers attached to machines. If there’s an option given to you at that time to ease the pain and take that epidural. I know I might succumb to it and want it; I am only human after all. This is my first time giving birth. I don’t know how I would react, but I do know one thing, and that is we are as strong as we think we are, mind over body.

Birthing is the most natural action in the world. A woman has to experience the emotion of birthing, and a Baby has to pass through the passage feeling what she’s going through to bring it safely into this world, only then a mother and a child are born…together!!

I’ve always envisioned myself having a birth plan that’s holistic. The gracious transfer of my baby from his tender womb-home to warm water in the birthing pool seems right, I think. Slowly introducing my child to learn to take his first breath, the skin to skin connection with his life-giver; opening his eyes to see all the people who can’t wait to welcome him. I want to bring this child into the world as organically as I can. I want him to be surrounded by love and blessings.

 

 

I have done my study and research in regards to this form of birthing. I have had prenatal classes with my midwife; bought my birthing pool; arranged the necessary paraphernalia; set up an emergency backup plan (regardless of what I have envisioned for my baby, I want a Plan B.) I’ve nurtured my nesting stage by decorating the baby corner in my house by building the crib, pre-softening my babies new clothes and swaddles, putting up the fairy lights, etc.

So dear baby,

Now it’s all on you. Your mamma is as ready as she can be!

I promise you this: no matter what, I’m going to be by your side just like always. I’ve been these last few months — with every breath I take and every morsel I eat. I will continue caring for you and putting all your needs before mine.

I can’t wait to hear your first cry, to feel your soft skin against mine, smell your beautiful babyness. Sorry, you heard me complain about silly stretch marks, saggy boobies and no sleep. I promise to wear my Tiger stripes with pride. It means I’ve nourished your body, and that’s what matter. I’ll stay up with you all night long (and make sure Daddy does as well!).

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Know this: I already love you so much! You make me complete.

 

Shveta Salve
Written by

Shveta Salve is an Indian television actress and model. She started her career in the theatre and moved on to television. She's starred in shows like Hip Hip Hurray, which ran on Zee TV between 1998 and 2001. She made her feature film debut in 1999 with Pyaar Mein Kabhi Kabhi. She's also worked on Pyaar Mein Kabhi Kabhi and Til Toh Baccha Hai, Lanka and others. In April 2008, she became the first Indian TV star to grace the cover of Maxim magazine. She's also been on the cover of Vogue India. Shve loves to travel, getting inked, shuttling between Goa and Bombay, and her dogs! She’s a hopeless romantic and a Bukowski addict. Follow Shveta on Twitter, www.twitter.com/shvetasalve, and Instagram, which she considers a visual account of her life: www.instagram.com/shveshve.

10 Comments

  • aarti abhyankar

    beautifully written Shveta… sooo happy for u .. all the very very best .. cant wait to hear the good news.. 😉 congrats again!!!

  • Shweta Arora

    Wow…what an experiential and vivid description of one’s pregnancy..I could truly feel all the words in there as I am also a second time mom to be ..and this time with twins..I mean, its so much different from carrying one baby.. I could very well relate to your cravings for choclate, 35 pillows underneath you and frequent restroom trips. I am curious to know about your babies , now..so ..I am going to google for more:)…but yes..the last part where you have your promises to your babies was the best and touching part..Thanks a tonne for jotting it down and making it public..hope u four are doing great with a life full of fun and adventure…All the very best..
    Love
    Shweta Arora

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  • ANJALI

    Beautifully written indeed , except I don’t know if one should push the notion that a woman is complete if and when one becomes a mother .It indeed is a blessing , which not everyone -especially in today’s time is blessed with and that does not make any of them any less a woman than her , you or me ! But again i agree everyone is entitled to their opinion and you have in fact mentioned that your baby makes you feel complete and that does not have to projected on to the rest of the world ; but unfortunately in today’s times famous personalities have more influence on the way people think than books or general common sense. Either way congratulations on your journey . It was extremely wonderful to read about your journey ! Congratulations on your bundle of joy !

  • Rani Subodh

    U r simply amazing Shveta…all d very best to u n yr most awaited bundle if joy..luv u🌹

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  • Lillie

    I got what you intend,saved to fav, very nice internet site.

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