I hate jeans and I cannot lie

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I don’t own a single pair of jeans.

Gasp, you lovers. I’ve escaped the indigo talons of the Canadian tuxedo for over three years now. (Seriously, can we move beyond that, please?)

Rick Ross (Yes, never going to give this up, are we?)

Last I likely wore jeans was in my early twenties (a decade or so ago)!

If the subject of styling jeans comes up, I’m always asked why… why don’t I adore the perfectly pristine bum-huggers that can also go unwashed for days. Denim is, I think, as much of a closet staple in India than in Mid-West USA.

Why do I refuse to don this butt-loving, thigh-chaffing number? (Hint: one of the answers is in the question.)

 

Well, to begin with, this wasn’t always the case. A pair of jeans were a real luxury item during my teens, and I was obsessed then with owning a pair. That is till I actually owned a pair. The rough material, the way jeans squeeze your bum straight into your crotch? What was the appeal, I wondered. The numb feeling of having circulation cut off from my ass and legs?

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In college, I realized that I ain’t do denim jeans girl; sweatpants and pyjamas and the occasional dress/skirt are my staples. These were probably an early sign that of me equating comfort to soft and giving fabrics.

Fast forward to my first job and my carefully curated wardrobe as a young professional in Chicago. I wore dresses, skirts and tops and the occasional pair of pants/pair of jeans. I dreaded those days, having only just learned about the “muffin top” via a show “What not to wear.” My freshman year, I liked cupcakes so much my friends said I became one. They were speaking literally. Nothing overflows out of dresses, or if it does, the wearer looks sexier for it. Jeans are less forgiving.

So, every casual Friday, folks wore jeans and I’d try to fly under the radar with my regular work clothes but always got called out. I just couldn’t equate jeans to comfort – they were, in my mind, the biggest perpetrator of chaffing, heavy, ‘muffin top’ mayhem. It’s not the jean’s fault. Such is the heft of their fabric. I caved once and tried a pair. The result of a fidgety, sweaty, and uncomfortable me.

So, I’ve not yet gotten over my hang-up about donning denim.However much I love seeing others look fantastic and comfortable in jeans.

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There you go, denims — the fashionistas go-to outfits — are a mystery to me. But, can it be only I who feel this way? If there are any other folks out there, who have a similar aversion. I’d love to form a support group so we can talk about encounters with jeans lovers who just don’t get us, 🙂

Illustrations by Srishti Jain aka @sonic.tooth
Janani Krishnan
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Janani is a global citizen, she says and adds that she knows that sounds a little pretentious but it’s true. Currently, she’s based out of Mumbai and totally in love with the city, people and manic energy! “What makes me tick – numbers, animals, sustainable fashion, natural beauty, compassion, public art, food, being outdoors, travel and believing in the goodness of people” she says. She is also a human litmus test for all brands claiming to be sustainable and organic, and she tells you the truth. Why? Because you deserve to know.

1 Comment

  • Fatima AlSaad

    Oh god yah. I hate jeans too. They are more uncomfortable than a bedazzled tutu. Thr material doesn’t allow for movement, it’s hot and god forbid you sweat through. Besides. Let’s get over them already … ain’t it too 90’s?

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